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Twitter, Facebook, BlackBerries, iPhones, Skype - it should be easier than ever for us to communicate these days. But if technology makes it simpler to send a message, you need more than a 140 character comment to improve communication in your relationship.

Whether you're constantly rowing or have slipped into the habit of not opening up to each other, communication isn't something you should take for granted.

'Communication is as much about listening as it is about talking,' says life coach Eve Menezes Cunningham. 'Apart from the words we use, we communicate a lot with the way we're sitting or standing. And think about how you would like to be spoken to - are you sounding sarcastic? Yelling, even? This is unlikely to get the response you're after.'

As your relationship changes, so your communication skills need to adapt.

'When you first start getting to know someone, everything is new. You could easily spend hours analysing (or obsessing) over what exactly that look, conversation, email or even text meant,' Eve says.

'Here's a radical idea: If you're not clear about something and it's bothering you, ask what he meant by it. Yes, it's risky, even terrifying, but he'll be in a far better position to tell you than any of your friends, who weren't there and aren't him.

'Be specific. Say something along the lines of, "When you said x, I felt y and wondered what you'd meant..." Being direct takes confidence but will get you far further than following someone else's rules.

'Once you've been together for a while, it's easy to get into a rut. Aim for at least one conversation a day, even just for a few minutes - and if you have kids, make it about something other than the children.

'Tell him you want to get better at communicating, so when tensions do rise, you both know that you'll be trying new ways to get your message across. You might even consider having a post mortem - what worked?

'Actors Felicity Huffman and William H Macy have a famous "no work talk in bed" rule - if one starts talking about work, they both get out of bed and move to another room. This way, their bed remains more romantically linked in their minds. Think what kind of rules you and your partner could apply to your own relationship.'

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